Finally

For the past few days, Roscoe has been waking me up at 4 am, rather than waiting until 5:20 when my alarm goes off. I am okay with this because he is waking me up because he has to go outside and doesn't want to go in his kennel. I am very happy that I don't have to clean his kennel out and that he is learning to signal us to go out, however not so happy that I get up at 4 am, let him out, head back to bed about 10 minutes later only to lay there for an hour, finally drift off to sleep, only for my alarm to go off 10 minutes after. So last night it hit me. I planned on running after work. I got home, let the dogs out, played a little fetch with Roscoe and J called. He wanted to go to the store. I decided that I didn't feel like cooking dinner, so we decided to head to the store and out for dinner. That meant no running. I couldn't run last night because the music wasn't ready and tonight we are going to observe an obedience class. I was supposed to start my c25k training last week but "something came up" every day and I didn't start it. I was determined to start on week 2 this week. So back to my epiphany. I thought to myself, since I am up at 4 am and don't go back to sleep, why not jump on the treadmill then? I really prefer running after work because it seems to be a little easier when I am not tired, but that just hasn't been happening. So I did it. I went to bed last night with my heart rate monitor and sports bra on, my workout pants, HR watch, socks and shoes on the floor by my bed. When Roscoe woke up at 3:50 this morning I got up, grabbed my stuff, threw my robe on and let him out. Of course, I fought myself on whether or not I really wanted to go into the workout room at that un-Godly hour, but I forced myself to do it. It really wasn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, I was sweating profusely, and I burned 300 calories in about 26 minutes, but once I got going, it felt good. After I was finished I went outside, stretched, wiped the sweat off and laid back down for another 35 minutes. Of course I didn't actually fall asleep until the alarm was about to go off, but still. I forgot how much I missed working out. I still hate doing it, but I can't deny how good it makes me feel. My last bout with exercise was 17 days ago, at the WOW ride. That is ridiculous! So now I just have to keep going.

Weekend Recap

I had a very good weekend, not only food wise but it was a fun one too. Saturday we had one of my favs, beer butt chicken. We also took little Roscoe to the dog park to play with the other dogs. We put him in the "under 25 pound" side first and I think he was a bit bored until someone brought their 4 month old boxer over, they played and played. It was pretty funny. Then we took him down to the beach area where he romped around with the big dogs. He definitely kept up with them. Then, he slept the rest of the night. I really wish Haylie got along with other dogs, she would love that park. Yesterday we took both dogs on a little walk at Mill Creek Park. It was a very nice "family" weekend for us. On Wednesday we are going to check out an obedience class that we are thinking about taking him to after vacation. It starts in October.

On another note I found this website that I have started to follow. Right now she is doing a giveaway for a weight-loss supplement. She has great healthy ideas for those of us on a budget and I have a few things on my list to try. One of the things I already tried and will be doing a post on, maybe this afternoon, is a granola. More to come on that.

A little closer

This week's weigh in - 178.6 - a loss of 1 pound. I am actually very happy with this. As you may or may not know, Tuesday was my birthday. I had a very nice bday bbq on Saturday with my family. There was lots of very good food, but I think I kept it under control, only had one piece of my sister's delicious cookie and fruit pizza - but I had a decent amount to drink. I knew it was coming though, so I expected to not have a great weigh in number. Then on Sunday we had yummy pasta at a b-day party for my little cousin and Monday was spent eating chili cheese fries, dippin dots, and drinking regular Pepsi at Wild Water Kingdom. Then, to top it off, I had a big bowl of cheesy potatoes for dinner. I kind of (very much) slacked on my water until yesterday and I lost 1.6 pounds from yesterday - amazing what water will do! I will take my 1 pound loss, it just means I will need to work a little harder this week. No more alcohol until vacation and I need to try to get my water in every day - even weekends. My eating is generally pretty good so I am not too concerned about that. I have 5.8 pounds to go and 3 weeks to do it in - that is 1.93 pounds per week - very much attainable.

Here are a couple pictures for your enjoyment - Roscoe, our new pup:

Almost on track

Just a little update, my weigh in this morning was 180.8, which is 1.6 pounds less than last Thursday. In order to reach my 2.5 lbs per week, I would need to lose .9 pounds by tomorrow. Highly unlikely but I am at least close and will take it. I think I am going to slightly re-vamp my goal anyway. I want to be at or below 172.8 pounds by 7:30 am on September 11 (right before we leave for the airport). That will make it 50 pounds lost. I know it is only really 2.9 pounds more than the original goal, but it seems a little more do-able. So, new average weekly loss (from last Thursday) is just under 2 pounds per week. I am going to put up a new ticker or something on the side to keep track of this smaller goal.

So obviously I have lost weight, and obviously I have gotten smaller, but I don't feel smaller. Sure, I wear smaller clothes and that feels great, but yesterday when I was looking in the full length mirror at work I thought to myself, "I look the same." I thought, back when I was a 16 and almost 18, that if I got to a size 12 I would be happy and that would be a good place to be. Now I am a size 12 - maybe even almost a 10 in some clothes - and it's not much different than a 16. Yes, I love going into a store and buying a size 12, but inside I don't feel any different about my body than I did at 16 - I feel just as heavy and overweight. I guess I thought that I would change and that I would feel completely different when I got into a regular size rather than a plus size but I don't. I am still the same old overweight Jenn and when I look in the mirror, I don't see a difference. What's up with that?

I did it!

I did it - an entire 40 miles! Let me just pat myself on the back for a minute. Okay, done with that. I am actually very shocked at myself really. Going into it I knew I really wanted to do the 40 rather than the 20, but I was scared. That is a very long ride, especially for me, someone who has only ridden a total of about 50 miles over a span of 5 rides and, let's face it, is not exactly the picture of perfect health. I was also scared because, and this will sound silly, I didn't really have anyone telling me that I could do it. I am not sure why I feel that I need that reassurance. If I really wanted to do it, and I thought I could do it, then why isn't that enough? Why does J need to say to me, "yes, you can make it the entire 40 miles"? Why when I hear Molody say to me, "you will never do 40 miles" does that make me second guess myself? To be perfectly honest, if Marc would not have said to me on Friday the he thought I could do the 40 miles, I probably wouldn't have attempted it. Don't get me wrong, when I asked, J said I could probably do it, but I didn't feel that he felt confident in my success so I didn't feel confident in my success. It is sad really, that I needed someone else to confirm my confidence. I guess it is one of those little things that you find out about yourself as you go along your journey. I need to not worry about what other people think I can do and just do what I feel is right.

I do want to thank you mom for your text messages and facebook comments. They really do make me feel good and I appreciate them very much! I love you!

Also, I would like to take this time to congratulate my hubby - he rode 64.5 miles yesterday - in 95 degree weather. That is absolutely unbelievable. I am so proud of you! You made it (even if you never do it again)!

So, onto my 2.5 pound per week goal. So far it isn't looking too good. Today's weigh-in was 182. Only .4 less than last Thursday. That means I need to lose about 2.1 pounds in the next 4 days, not impossible, but not likely either. I am thinking I may loose some water weight today - hopefully. I am going to stay very strict on my food and water intake, and workout every day this week. I am starting my c25k training tonight. If it is raining I will do it on the treadmill then hop on the weight machine for a few minutes. Tomorrow I will do my 30 day shred video and Wednesday is the c25k again.

Plan for the day:
Breakfast:
Yogurt - 100
banana - 100

Lunch:
2 turkey hot dogs - 140
1 bun - 120
zucchini - 25

Dinner:
Mediterranean Chicken and Orzo - 400
vita top - 100

total - 985 - whoa, I guess I better add a little more food! I will throw some veggies in with dinner and when I add in condiments on my hot dogs, that should put me right around 1100 for the day which is good.

21 days and counting

21 days - that is how long it has been since my last post. I haven't forgotten, I can't forget because J won't let me. I just haven't had any moving thoughts lately. My weight definitely hasn't moved, other than up and down the same pounds over and over. That is definitely attributed to lots of bad food and even more alcohol the past few weeks. A week after my last post I spent 3 nights in Geneva on the Lake with my family. I had a great time but gained about 5-6 pounds. It did come off quickly -almost all of it in the first week, but then I gained another 3 pounds last weekend when I drank a bottle of wine on Friday and then what would probably equal 2 bottles on Saturday - not so good. I buckled down this week and have gotten most of it off. No alcohol and lots of good eating this weekend for me. Sunday is the WOW ride and I am excited to do it. I am going to ride the first 10, and if I am feeling good, keep on going for another 10. That means I will have 20 miles I have to ride back too, for a total of 40 miles. I know it will take me a while and I am okay with that. I would love to just be able to say that I did it, ya know? Even if I only do the 20, that will be pretty good, but the 40 will be better. August is going to be a tough month for me only because of my birthday. I am going to keep it as good as I can and only have *one* splurge day. The rest of them need to be really good. My goal is to hit the 160's by vacation - which is about 12 pounds in 35 days, or 2.5 pounds per week. I know it is a steep goal, but I really want it. I am going to have to work my ass off - literally!