Not Just Big Boned

So far so good

2010-01-06T08:23:00.002-05:00

Just a quick check-in. The past two days have went well food wise. I have kept my calories under control and have brought fruits and veggies back into play. I have drank a minimum 84 ounces of water (after I finish off my 20 bottle on the way to work and 2 qts at work I stop keeping track). I found my hardest time is right when I get home from work. While I am here at work I only have so much food to eat but by the time I get home I am really ready for some dinner and I have an entire kitchen of food in front of me. Last night when I got home I finished off some rice in the fridge and Monday evening I had some croutons with ranch dressing and some pepperoni while making our pizzas. I did write it down in my book and counted the calories so it wasn't so bad, I just don't like the feeling. I would like to only eat food when I am sitting down for a meal. It is way to easy to blow 500 calories just snacking on stuff here and there.

I will have two tests this week. The first will be tonight and tomorrow night - I work at the Ear. It is sooooooo easy to grab some fries and pop them in my mouth but.I.must.resist. I plan on having a pulled pork sandwich with some coleslaw for dinner. Not extremely healthy, but one of the best options at a place that serves only fair food. Tomorrow I will have a turkey sausage with peppers and onions and some slaw. My second test will come on Saturday. I will be attending my grandma's 75th birthday party (a pot luck - and my family doesn't eat healthy!) and then on to my sis-in-law's graduation party! I do have a plan! For the pot-luck I am going to find a casserole that is very low cal and can be a main dish. I will eat this and maybe a bite or two of a couple other things if anything looks even remotely low cal (green beans, etc.). I will take my jug of water with me so I can stay away from the pop. At the graduation party I will allow myself to snack on veggies - but no pizza, appetizers or cake. Also, drinking only water and if my calories allow, possibly a Mich Ultra or MGD 64. If my calories are very low, I may allow myself a glass of wine. So that's my plan and I'm stickin' to it.

What happened?

2010-01-04T09:04:00.003-05:00

I know, it has been forever. I don't know what happened to me. I was doing so well the beginning and middle of last year, then, stopped. I worked and worked before our vacation and then just half-assed it from then on. I would do good for a week then stray. I have to get back into this. I decided to start blogging again. That was when I had most of my success. It isn't really the blogging that helped me of course, but it doesn't hurt either. I am starting up my spreadsheets again that haven't been updated since October. I am tracking my weight on here again, and if you notice, that number has gone up considerably. I have gained more than 15 pounds since vacation. That is just ridiculous. I am slowly creeping up on the 200 pound mark and I have vowed never to hit that again. 15 pounds is a lot to gain in just three and a half months. So, back on it, as of this morning. I have my notebook next to me and I am going to write down everything that goes in my mouth - no exceptions. I feel like crap, I am tired, and my clothes are tight. Everything will change (again) right now.

Day 2

2009-10-01T08:34:00.004-04:00

When my alarm went off at 4:50 this morning I groaned and hit the snooze. Ten minutes later it went off again, once again I hit the snooze. I laid there for about a minute and a half, arguing with myself about whether I should get up and hit the treadmill or not. I went to bed fully dressed for my workout - HRM and everything - to make it an easier decision. After my 90 seconds of arguing I decided that an extra half hour of sleep would not make me any less tired that I already was so I might as well get up and do it. I did just that. After letting the dogs out, I strapped my iPod onto my arm and got on the dreadmill. I didn't make it all the way through the first three minute run, I allowed myself to stop for 10 seconds a little over half way through - it was only 5:10 in the morning after all. I was, however, determined to run the entire 3 minutes on the second set so I slowed the pace down from 6 mph to 5.5. This most definitely helped because I made it through. Maybe when I do my third session on Saturday I will do both at 5.7 mph and see how that goes. I am okay with going slow, I am not doing this for speed - yet. Either way, after working 12+ hours yesterday and not even getting home until 10, I still got my fat rear end out of bed this morning and did my training. 5k race, here I come.

Today was my first official weekly weigh in. 181.6 was the number on the scale, not too bad since just two days ago it was 183. Let's hope next Thursday is in the 170's again. That would be great! This weekend will be fairly easy to stay on track, with the only real challenge being dinner on Saturday night. We are going out to celebrate J's dad's birthday and we think it might be Smokey Bones. I heart Smokey Bones! They have the absolute best ribs ever! I am debating on whether or not I should get the them though. I will check out their website to see what healthier options they have, but honestly, even things I think are healthy probably won't be because of how they prepare things. I do plan on running Saturday morning, and since I will eat very well for breakfast and lunch, I should be able to have 1/2 rack of ribs and a salad or steamed veggies with no problem.

That is all for now, I probably won't be back until Monday unless something post-worthy comes along.

On the right track

2009-09-30T07:38:00.003-04:00

So far so good on the 5k training. I did week 3, session 1 last night even though it was raining outside and I really wanted to run at the park with my hubby and dog AND I had a slight headache that got worse as I ran. I still did it. Oh boy can I tell it has been a while since I have last worked out. The plan for yesterday was 5 minute warm up followed by two sets of - run 90 second, walk 90 seconds, run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes - then a 5 minute cool down. I started with week 3 because it sounds pretty easy and like a good starter point for me. The 90 second runs weren't bad, but honestly, I couldn't do the 3 minutes. I stopped for about 10 seconds in the middle of each one. That is completely pathetic. But, I guess I did it and I should be happy about that. I plan to run tomorrow morning and then again on Saturday. Tomorrow morning is really gonna suck because I hate getting up and working out right away. I have no energy and it is twice as hard. Hopefully it will quit raining and be nice on Saturday so J and I can run together.

I ate pretty well yesterday - nothing bad but it seemed like I ate a lot. I have been so hungry lately and it never seems like I am full or even satisfied. After every meal I just want to keep eating. I don't know what is going on. Yesterday I had: a granola bar, some grapes, a little bit of left over pot roast, a toasted sandwich thin bun with some smart balance butter, a yogurt, a banana, a turkey burger, romaine salad, three stalks of asparagus, some green beans, a fit and active ice cream sandwich and some frozen grapes (yummy!). I am not sure of exact calories for yesterday but I would estimate around 1300, not really too bad for all that food that I had. When I look at it, I think I made good choices. I had some fat free dairy, whole grains for fiber, fruits and veggies, protein and carbs.

On another note, Happy Texan is giving away a care package from Pom. Apparently Pom has come out with some iced coffees that, according to Kelly, are wonderful. I REALLY want to win these, and the sauce she is giving away, so please, do not click here.

Good bye for today!

Fresh Start

2009-09-29T09:12:00.003-04:00

It has been quite some time since I last blogged. Vacation went VERY well, we all had a great time. On the weight loss side of things - it is not going so well. I have been slipping and getting into bad habits again. I have not been blogging and not been honest with myself and this HAS. TO. STOP. I am picking it up again today, making good decisions and goals for myself. I'm not mad at myself for the past few months, but I am not getting where I would like to be by doing what I am doing either. This morning I opened up some of my older spreadsheets where I logged in my weight. I was at 208 at the beginning of the year - this morning I was 183 - I have only lost 25 pounds in 9 months. That is pretty good, but I thought I would be farther by now. I noticed that in June I was at 185 - so in 3 months I have only netted a 2 pound loss - that is pathetic. I also did not reach either of my goals set for vacation. Not the end of the world, and I am not upset and giving up; I am just going to start new and get back into it. Today is the day.

I have a couple goals for myself. My first goal is exercise. This is probably the worst area for me lately. I can't remember the last time I worked out. I think I did a 5k session once since vacation, maybe. I am getting back into the 5k training, starting with week 2 tonight. I will do 3 sessions per week and will end the training on 11/22, just in time for the turkey trot on Thanksgiving morning. I am going to run this 5k. And, since I have now put it in black and white on the Internet, I absolutely must do it.

My second goal is regarding weight. My ultimate goal weight is about 150 - a very healthy weight for me. I would really like to reach this number by my next vacation. J and I will be going on vacation with our best friends, the extremely fit Molody's, in June of next year. The exact week hasn't been decided yet, so I am using June 17 as my goal date. That is about 32 pounds to lose in 37 weeks. This number is very obtainable, even with the holidays. There is no reason I can't reach this goal and I am determined to do it. I am going to do a weekly post with my weight updated each Thursday, beginning with this Thursday.

Well that is all for today, hopefully I will get more into blogging again as I get back into the groove of all of this.

Finally

2009-08-26T07:41:00.002-04:00

For the past few days, Roscoe has been waking me up at 4 am, rather than waiting until 5:20 when my alarm goes off. I am okay with this because he is waking me up because he has to go outside and doesn't want to go in his kennel. I am very happy that I don't have to clean his kennel out and that he is learning to signal us to go out, however not so happy that I get up at 4 am, let him out, head back to bed about 10 minutes later only to lay there for an hour, finally drift off to sleep, only for my alarm to go off 10 minutes after. So last night it hit me. I planned on running after work. I got home, let the dogs out, played a little fetch with Roscoe and J called. He wanted to go to the store. I decided that I didn't feel like cooking dinner, so we decided to head to the store and out for dinner. That meant no running. I couldn't run last night because the music wasn't ready and tonight we are going to observe an obedience class. I was supposed to start my c25k training last week but "something came up" every day and I didn't start it. I was determined to start on week 2 this week. So back to my epiphany. I thought to myself, since I am up at 4 am and don't go back to sleep, why not jump on the treadmill then? I really prefer running after work because it seems to be a little easier when I am not tired, but that just hasn't been happening. So I did it. I went to bed last night with my heart rate monitor and sports bra on, my workout pants, HR watch, socks and shoes on the floor by my bed. When Roscoe woke up at 3:50 this morning I got up, grabbed my stuff, threw my robe on and let him out. Of course, I fought myself on whether or not I really wanted to go into the workout room at that un-Godly hour, but I forced myself to do it. It really wasn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, I was sweating profusely, and I burned 300 calories in about 26 minutes, but once I got going, it felt good. After I was finished I went outside, stretched, wiped the sweat off and laid back down for another 35 minutes. Of course I didn't actually fall asleep until the alarm was about to go off, but still. I forgot how much I missed working out. I still hate doing it, but I can't deny how good it makes me feel. My last bout with exercise was 17 days ago, at the WOW ride. That is ridiculous! So now I just have to keep going.

Weekend Recap

2009-08-24T08:13:00.003-04:00

I had a very good weekend, not only food wise but it was a fun one too. Saturday we had one of my favs, beer butt chicken. We also took little Roscoe to the dog park to play with the other dogs. We put him in the "under 25 pound" side first and I think he was a bit bored until someone brought their 4 month old boxer over, they played and played. It was pretty funny. Then we took him down to the beach area where he romped around with the big dogs. He definitely kept up with them. Then, he slept the rest of the night. I really wish Haylie got along with other dogs, she would love that park. Yesterday we took both dogs on a little walk at Mill Creek Park. It was a very nice "family" weekend for us. On Wednesday we are going to check out an obedience class that we are thinking about taking him to after vacation. It starts in October.

On another note I found this website that I have started to follow. Right now she is doing a giveaway for a weight-loss supplement. She has great healthy ideas for those of us on a budget and I have a few things on my list to try. One of the things I already tried and will be doing a post on, maybe this afternoon, is a granola. More to come on that.

A little closer

2009-08-20T07:46:00.006-04:00

This week's weigh in - 178.6 - a loss of 1 pound. I am actually very happy with this. As you may or may not know, Tuesday was my birthday. I had a very nice bday bbq on Saturday with my family. There was lots of very good food, but I think I kept it under control, only had one piece of my sister's delicious cookie and fruit pizza - but I had a decent amount to drink. I knew it was coming though, so I expected to not have a great weigh in number. Then on Sunday we had yummy pasta at a b-day party for my little cousin and Monday was spent eating chili cheese fries, dippin dots, and drinking regular Pepsi at Wild Water Kingdom. Then, to top it off, I had a big bowl of cheesy potatoes for dinner. I kind of (very much) slacked on my water until yesterday and I lost 1.6 pounds from yesterday - amazing what water will do! I will take my 1 pound loss, it just means I will need to work a little harder this week. No more alcohol until vacation and I need to try to get my water in every day - even weekends. My eating is generally pretty good so I am not too concerned about that. I have 5.8 pounds to go and 3 weeks to do it in - that is 1.93 pounds per week - very much attainable.

Here are a couple pictures for your enjoyment - Roscoe, our new pup:

Almost on track

2009-08-12T07:42:00.002-04:00

Just a little update, my weigh in this morning was 180.8, which is 1.6 pounds less than last Thursday. In order to reach my 2.5 lbs per week, I would need to lose .9 pounds by tomorrow. Highly unlikely but I am at least close and will take it. I think I am going to slightly re-vamp my goal anyway. I want to be at or below 172.8 pounds by 7:30 am on September 11 (right before we leave for the airport). That will make it 50 pounds lost. I know it is only really 2.9 pounds more than the original goal, but it seems a little more do-able. So, new average weekly loss (from last Thursday) is just under 2 pounds per week. I am going to put up a new ticker or something on the side to keep track of this smaller goal.

So obviously I have lost weight, and obviously I have gotten smaller, but I don't feel smaller. Sure, I wear smaller clothes and that feels great, but yesterday when I was looking in the full length mirror at work I thought to myself, "I look the same." I thought, back when I was a 16 and almost 18, that if I got to a size 12 I would be happy and that would be a good place to be. Now I am a size 12 - maybe even almost a 10 in some clothes - and it's not much different than a 16. Yes, I love going into a store and buying a size 12, but inside I don't feel any different about my body than I did at 16 - I feel just as heavy and overweight. I guess I thought that I would change and that I would feel completely different when I got into a regular size rather than a plus size but I don't. I am still the same old overweight Jenn and when I look in the mirror, I don't see a difference. What's up with that?

I did it!

2009-08-10T08:54:00.003-04:00

I did it - an entire 40 miles! Let me just pat myself on the back for a minute. Okay, done with that. I am actually very shocked at myself really. Going into it I knew I really wanted to do the 40 rather than the 20, but I was scared. That is a very long ride, especially for me, someone who has only ridden a total of about 50 miles over a span of 5 rides and, let's face it, is not exactly the picture of perfect health. I was also scared because, and this will sound silly, I didn't really have anyone telling me that I could do it. I am not sure why I feel that I need that reassurance. If I really wanted to do it, and I thought I could do it, then why isn't that enough? Why does J need to say to me, "yes, you can make it the entire 40 miles"? Why when I hear Molody say to me, "you will never do 40 miles" does that make me second guess myself? To be perfectly honest, if Marc would not have said to me on Friday the he thought I could do the 40 miles, I probably wouldn't have attempted it. Don't get me wrong, when I asked, J said I could probably do it, but I didn't feel that he felt confident in my success so I didn't feel confident in my success. It is sad really, that I needed someone else to confirm my confidence. I guess it is one of those little things that you find out about yourself as you go along your journey. I need to not worry about what other people think I can do and just do what I feel is right.

I do want to thank you mom for your text messages and facebook comments. They really do make me feel good and I appreciate them very much! I love you!

Also, I would like to take this time to congratulate my hubby - he rode 64.5 miles yesterday - in 95 degree weather. That is absolutely unbelievable. I am so proud of you! You made it (even if you never do it again)!

So, onto my 2.5 pound per week goal. So far it isn't looking too good. Today's weigh-in was 182. Only .4 less than last Thursday. That means I need to lose about 2.1 pounds in the next 4 days, not impossible, but not likely either. I am thinking I may loose some water weight today - hopefully. I am going to stay very strict on my food and water intake, and workout every day this week. I am starting my c25k training tonight. If it is raining I will do it on the treadmill then hop on the weight machine for a few minutes. Tomorrow I will do my 30 day shred video and Wednesday is the c25k again.

Plan for the day:
Breakfast:
Yogurt - 100
banana - 100

Lunch:
2 turkey hot dogs - 140
1 bun - 120
zucchini - 25

Dinner:
Mediterranean Chicken and Orzo - 400
vita top - 100

total - 985 - whoa, I guess I better add a little more food! I will throw some veggies in with dinner and when I add in condiments on my hot dogs, that should put me right around 1100 for the day which is good.

21 days and counting

2009-08-06T14:24:00.002-04:00

21 days - that is how long it has been since my last post. I haven't forgotten, I can't forget because J won't let me. I just haven't had any moving thoughts lately. My weight definitely hasn't moved, other than up and down the same pounds over and over. That is definitely attributed to lots of bad food and even more alcohol the past few weeks. A week after my last post I spent 3 nights in Geneva on the Lake with my family. I had a great time but gained about 5-6 pounds. It did come off quickly -almost all of it in the first week, but then I gained another 3 pounds last weekend when I drank a bottle of wine on Friday and then what would probably equal 2 bottles on Saturday - not so good. I buckled down this week and have gotten most of it off. No alcohol and lots of good eating this weekend for me. Sunday is the WOW ride and I am excited to do it. I am going to ride the first 10, and if I am feeling good, keep on going for another 10. That means I will have 20 miles I have to ride back too, for a total of 40 miles. I know it will take me a while and I am okay with that. I would love to just be able to say that I did it, ya know? Even if I only do the 20, that will be pretty good, but the 40 will be better. August is going to be a tough month for me only because of my birthday. I am going to keep it as good as I can and only have *one* splurge day. The rest of them need to be really good. My goal is to hit the 160's by vacation - which is about 12 pounds in 35 days, or 2.5 pounds per week. I know it is a steep goal, but I really want it. I am going to have to work my ass off - literally!

Salad

2009-07-16T08:55:00.005-04:00

So last week J and I were watching food network, which is something we almost never do, but since there was nothing on, we stopped there. Alton Brown from "Good Eats" was making this grilled romaine thing that looked sooooo good. I decided to make it this week and oh my God it is wonderful. I had one Tuesday night and last night with my dinner. It is fairly easy to make and the flavors go together so well! I am definitely having another tonight. Here it is:

Makes 2 salads

Ingredients:
1 Romaine Heart
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1 T olive oil

The ingredients above are not exact (except the lettuce) but it will give you an idea of about how much you will need. You won't use all of it. For the Parmesan cheese, I bought the stuff from Rulli's in the small containers - it tastes so much better than Kraft because it is fresh.

First, place the vinegar in a freezer bag and place in the freezer for about 2 hours, or until frozen. After it is frozen, smash it a little with either a rolling pin, meat tenderizer or something like that to make it into little pieces - almost like a vinegar slushie :) Next, cut the lettuce in half. Be sure to cut the root in half to keep all or most of the pieces together. Place the cheese in a pan or dish that is big enough for the lettuce. Spray or brush the cut side of the lettuce very well with the oil, be sure to get it in the grooves. Press the cut side of the lettuce into the cheese. You will need to make sure you press it really good to get the cheese to stick really well. Top with some black pepper if you like. Heat a non-stick skillet (I used my Pampered chef grill pan and press to get the grill lines) sprayed very generously with Pam over medium-high heat. Once hot, place the lettuce in the skillet, cut side down. Leave on for about 1-2 minutes, until the cheese browns. You will really smell the cheese when it is about done. Carefully remove from skillet and place on a plate. Top with the vinegar shavings and eat immediately.

Side note - I do not recommend putting it on a plate that has any food that you don't want to share in the vinegar taste. As you see in the photo above, I put my sausage on the same plate and by the time I got to eating it, there was a small amount of vinegar soaked into the bun.

Another Milestone

2009-07-14T08:04:00.020-04:00

Well, I hit another milestone yesterday - I jogged non-stop for 1 mile. That's right, I jogged at 5 miles per hour for 12 minutes straight! Honestly, I probably could have kept going, but dinner was just about ready and I needed a quick cool down. Oh, and this was after an hour of aerobics/body sculpting. I have never in my life jogged an entire mile- to be perfectly honest, I have probably never jogged a quarter mile (that is one lap around a track). Here is a picture of me after the jog- and no, that is not water on my upper chest.

So I decided to try a "green drink." I have read about them on some other blogs and decided I was going to try them - since I am all into trying new things lately. Basically, it is a smoothie that is made of fruits and veggies and usually has a green leafy vegetable in it, which makes it green. I made one on Saturday that we drank on Sunday - after having to go out and buy a new blender. It was a recipe that Dr. Oz did on Oprah. It had spinach, celery, ginger root, lemon and lime juice, and an apple. It wasn't horrible, but it definitely wasn't tasty either. We did drink the entire pitcher of it and it definitely kept me full for a while. I decided to try something a little different this morning. Last night I threw some different stuff together and this one turned out really good actually - okay so not really good as in a chocolate milkshake, but really good for getting spinach into me! Today's green drink consisted of 1 banana, some chocolate protein shake mix, some fat free vanilla yogurt, a branch (if that is what you want to call it) of kale and a handful of spinach. Here it is:

I am going to try some other vegetables tonight, maybe some zucchini because we have a bunch of it. I also purchased some brussel sprouts over the weekend that I am going to attempt to roast. We will see how those come out - I will let you know. They may end up in my green drink too!

I am going to leave you with some pictures and even a video from Sunday. I went to Pioneer waterland with my hubby and family. Got some cute pictures of the kids.

TGIF!!!

2009-07-10T08:07:00.002-04:00

I am so glad it is Friday - and so is my body! I worked out every single day this week and boy do I feel it. Today is my day of rest.

Monday - 10.5 mile bike ride (580 cals)
Tuesday - aerobics (550 cals)
Wednesday - we went to body sculpting rather than aerobics so I also got on the treadmill and jogged for about 15 minutes and walked 5 to get more cardio (680 cals)
Last night - aerobics. (550 cals)

Total calories burned - 2360

Whew, I am tired! I plan to go to aerobics in the a.m. which is an hour and a half. Last time I went I burned 820 calories! If it isn't raining, I would like to attempt a 20 mile ride as well. So, if all goes as planned, I should burn about 3980 calories for the week.

I have done really well with eating:

Monday - 1389 calories
Tuesday - 1221 calories
Wednesday - 1389 calories
Thursday - 1247 calories

Total calories consumed - 5246

Now, here's the problem I am having. 3500 calories = 1 pound. My BMR is 1800. That means that netting 1800 calories per day results in a maintain. Anything below should result in a loss. So for the first 4 days of the week I would need to net 7200 calories to maintain. I netted 2886 (5246-2360). So, I came out 4314 less than my maintain area. That would be a loss of 1.233 pounds - right? WRONG!!!!! The.scale.isn't.moving. Actually, it did move on Tuesday - it went up! I was at 182.4-ish on Monday - Tuesday it went up a pound and hasn't moved since. WHAT.THE.HELL? I just don't get it! It is so frustrating to work so hard and be so careful about everything I eat and see nothing - nothing at all. I just want to break through to the 170's. I remember this happened to me at the 192 mark - it seemed like I was there forever and just couldn't reach those 180's. I was really hoping to be down to 175 by vacation on the 23rd but I am not seeing that happening since it is only two weeks away.

Well that is my whining for the day. Hopefully my next post will bring better news!

That's a size WHAT???

2009-07-01T07:56:00.004-04:00

I know, I know, it has been forever since I have blogged. No reason for it really, just busy at work and I don't have the extra time I used to. I have a few minutes before I have to get started on something so I thought I would update. Last weekend I actually got my *ss out of bed and went to aerobics on Saturday, even though I didn't go to bed until almost 2 on Friday night. It was really fun and I burned 820 calories!!! Then, J and I went on a 10 mile bike ride. I know it isn't the Tour de France but it is a lot for me. Originally, I had planned on going on the WOW ride - which would be a 20 mile ride (J is doing 60 miles this year!!!). Anyway, I am not able to go this year, but I still want to get up to at lease 20 miles so I am on my way.

On Sunday we went to the village - a local thrift shop - to try to find some pants for me because none of mine fit anymore. A good thing in a way. I told J before we went that I wanted to get one pair of size 12's just so I would have them at home and could try them on periodically so I would know when I could move down. Well, guess what - here they are:

Yes - they fit - right now. I couldn't believe it!!! I haven't worn a size 12 since 2000!

So, that is my good news for the week - well that and the new weight posted on the right.

It's been a while

2009-06-24T11:53:00.003-04:00

Not sure what my deal is lately but I just haven't been blogging - maybe it's because I am so incredibly swamped at work right now since Sandy is off on sick leave. That's my excuse I guess. To be honest, I make time to read all new blogs from my list of fellow "weight" losers I just for some reason haven't blogged myself. I have been doing fine, until the Columbus trip. After that weekend of eating crap, I still lost weight - I am giving credit to the aerobics classes that I had done prior to leaving. Then, last week, I ate better (during the week) but I only went to class one day last week and did no other workouts. No excuse other than being lazy. This past weekend was a train wreck with pizza (only two slices) and wine (two glasses) on Friday and then God only knows what on Saturday at our wine tasting. I drank over a bottle of wine and ate tons of cheese, dip, chips and chocolate. Sunday wasn't too much better. I gained almost 3 pounds over the course of last week. I am happy to report that I have lost almost all of it already this week so I am sure it will come off fast. Went to aerobics last night, burned almost 500 calories which isn't bad since we were just learning the routines. I don't think I like the new routines as much as last session, but that could be just because I don't really know them yet. I feel like I just finally got the other ones down pat and could focus on intensifying them and now I have new ones to learn. Oh well. We (Mom Fellows) and I are going again tonight and tomorrow night. I hope to go on Saturday as well, which will give me 4 days of working out. I also am going for a bike ride on Saturday and hopefully some swimming - yeah, Saturday will knock me on my butt!

update

2009-06-16T09:08:00.002-04:00

I promise I will do an update post soon. J and I went to Columbus over the weekend and had a blast. I have pictures to share, just need to sit down and do it! I will let you know though, we ate like crap while there and did no workouts, however, my weight is going down as you can see on my ticker, which makes me nervous that the weekend just hasn't caught up with me yet. I am afraid that one of these mornings I am going to step on the scale and it will say 190. I guess we will have to weight (haha) and see!

Weigh In

2009-06-08T08:03:00.002-04:00

I had a good weekend. I probably ate a few too many calories but I definitely kept it reasonable and I don't think I went over my "maintain" calories. No exercising :( I am not sure why it is so much easier to do it during the week but it is. Saturday morning I was all prepared to go to aerobics and was actually in the car driving there when my stomach decided that it didn't want to go and made me turn around and head home. It was all downhill from there. I will go to aerobics Monday, Wednesday and Thursday this week and do 30 day shred on Tuesday and Saturday. We are going to Columbus this weekend and maybe I will even get up and hit the hotel gym on Sunday morning while Jason is sleeping. I am going to try to find a hotel with a pool so we can get some exercise in that way too. We are also going to pack as much of our food as we can, especially breakfasts. Now onto the important stuff: my weigh in

Last Monday's weight: 188.6
According to my calculations based on my calorie deficit for the week I should have lost .842 pounds
Weight this morning: 187

That's a loss of 1.6 pounds and I will take it! It's not a ton of weight but anything is good!

It was brought to my attention that my last post did not include the recipe I promised. I apologize, I completely forgot to post it. I have edited that post and the recipe now resides at the bottom for your viewing pleasure.

Deeeeeee-licious!

2009-06-04T12:23:00.005-04:00

Couple things I wanted to mention today. First was my "small" victory yesterday - and I would say a victory for J as well. Last night for dinner we tried a new meatloaf recipe, as many of you know, meatloaf is one of J's most fav dinners. This was a turkey taco meatloaf from a Hungry Girl cookbook. 1/6th of the loaf is only 127 calories and it was dee-freakin-licious! I am going to post the recipe below in case you would like to enjoy it as well. We also had boiled red potatoes and sweet corn on the cob. I expected the corn to be ehhh, okay since the corn that my mom had on Sunday was not very soft or sweet and corn just isn't in season right now, but this corn was guuh-hood. So what is the victory you ask? J and I only ate only the pre-measured portions that were on our plates. That consisted of 1/4 of the loaf for me and 1/3 for J, 1 small red potato for me and 1 medium one for J, and one ear of corn each - even though there was more of everything left in the kitchen! Now, I don't think that neither J nor I have ever eaten just 1 ear of corn, especially when it is this good. And J, well when it comes to meatloaf, he can devour 3/4 of it with no problem. Even though neither of us were actually full, we both stopped because we weren't actually hungry - of course we saved room for some fat free frozen yogurt though!

Yesterday's food log:

fruit and yogurt parfait
spaghetti with dirusso's turkey sausage
zucchini/red peppers/onions
English muffin with low sugar jelly
meatloaf, potatoes, corn on the cop
fat free frozen yogurt
100 oz water

calories consumed: 1250
calories burned: 2360 (560 from 60 minutes at aerobics)
calorie deficit: 1110 (0.32 pounds)

Now for a little story: Isn't it weird how we feel scared in certain situations? I am (was) in need of a new pair of workout shoes. My shox hurt my feel very badly when I jog and do my 30 minute shred dvd. J and I went to Shoe Carnival on Sunday but they just didn't have a good selection, and to be honest, I don't know exactly what I need. I know there are certain shoes that support different things during running that help you depending on how your feet are shaped and how your feet strike the ground. So I decided that I needed to go somewhere that specializes in athletic shoes and talk to someone who knows what they are doing. I found that Second Sole in Boardman does just that. So that was where I wanted to go. But I was scared. I was scared to go in there because after looking on their website I saw that all of their employees were thin, athletic types and I was afraid that when I walked in there they were just going to look at me and laugh and say, "What is she doing here? She probably meant to go into the bakery next door." I surely could not want to purchase shoes that are meant for physical activity. I finally got the nerve to go in yesterday, well I guess I was more forced to do it than anything else. Since it was raining, I really needed to wear different shoes than what I would be working out in because if I didn't I probably would have slipped and ended up on the ground. So I pull into the parking lot and out walks these two high school guys that probably ran track. I waited until they left the parking lot before I got out of my car - how freaking pathetic is that? But I did because I was embarrassed. After they were gone, I went in. There was a kid, probably about 17 that asked me if he could help me - that was good because I didn't want to walk over to the wall of shoes and stare at them, looking like a buffoon. I told him that I needed shoes but I had no idea what kind or anything about them really. He showed me over to the wall, had me take off my shoes and walk the catwalk - ok, not a catwalk, but across the store and back. He and some other guy (owner?) decided that I needed a higher support because me feet are rather flat and my ankles tend to roll inward. Okay, great, I got past that awkward moment and on to the next. As he was showing me a few styles on the wall, I noticed that they were $110 to $130! I decided to tell him what kinds of workouts I am doing and then let him know how much I wanted to spend. So, awkward moment #2 - not only am I fat, but I am poor too. He was as nice as could be though and he and the other guy went into the back to see if they could find older styles that were left over and could be discounted for me. He brought out 3 different pairs, I tried them on and decided on the Asics. At the register he took my name and then asked for my address, when I told him what it was he laughed and said that he used to live there, about 7 years ago! What a small freaking world! Anyway, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought, even though the entire time I felt completely out of place. I just can't wait to get to the point in my life that I am not embarrassed by my body any more. It really is pathetic that I am embarrassed to go into a store because of my weight.

**edit**

Taco Turkey Meatloaf

1 lb ground turkey
1/2 cup canned corn
1/4 cup chopped green pepper (we skipped)
1/4 cup chopped onion (we skipped)
1/2 packet reduced sodium taco seasoning
1/2 cup salsa (we puree ours so it's not chunky)
1/2 cup 2% shredded cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 375. Cook onions and peppers over medium-high heat for 3 minutes in a pan coated with non-stick spray. Mix turkey, corn, onions, peppers and taco seasoning. Spread mixture in a 9x5 loaf pan. Top with salsa. Bake for 45 minutes. Top with shredded cheddar cheese and bake another 15 minutes.

Results

2009-06-02T09:16:00.005-04:00

Well, as most of you know, the results of my May plan were devastating - a mere .4 pounds lost in the entire month. I did a lot of thinking about it yesterday and I think I know why this happened. First of all, not weighing myself for a month was not a good idea. I need to weigh and post a minimum of once a week, to keep me on the right track. I need to know where I am and when so I can make any necessary adjustments. Next, my exercising wasn't where it should have been. The first week of May I did a little treadmill - but only averaged about 17 minutes when I did it which isn't good. Second week - not too bad, did aerobics 3 times, but that was it. Third week was terrible and only did aerobics once and the last week I did aerobics twice. Not exactly the exercise needed to burn the calories I want to. My final observation of last month was the "free" days I gave myself. There was too much alcohol consumed - an average of 5 drinks per week I would say. I also had probably 7 days of eating WAY too many calories and the rest of the days were eating the right amount of calories or just a little above. All of these things added together equal failure in the weight loss department.

So, what can I do about it? I HAVE to start tracking every calorie that I put in my mouth rather than just the big meals or guessing. I will start weighing my food more often to be sure my calories are accurate. I am also going to try to stick to places that have calories posted on their website when eating out. I know this isn't completely possible, but I am going to do it as best I can. I was going out to lunch with people from work on Fridays a lot and I have no idea how many calories I was consuming in their food. I am going to stick to Subway because I know what I am getting. I have bought a heart rate monitor that will show me how many calories I am burning during my workouts and it also links to a website that will show me minutes, calories, etc. during the week so I will have a true record of what I am doing workout wise. Each day, I am posting in a spreadsheet how many calories I have consumed as well as how many I have burned from normal activities (I get 1800 a day just for my normal daily activities) plus my workouts. I will subtract my burned calories from the consumed to get a number. The goal is to have a deficit every day - and hopefully a significant one. We are going to Tokyo House tonight so I am trying to keep my calories low during the day and hopefully not end up too terrible at the end of the day. After that, my week will consist of healthy foods including lots of veggies, and I hope to go to aerobics on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday and do 30 day shred on Friday and Sunday. Also - no alcohol this week.

So, we'll see how this goes - it can't get too much worse than May!

Oh - and I have decided that when I get into the 170's - I am going for a 1 hour massage at my spa! That is my treat to myself!

Monday:
100 oz water
Fruit & yogurt parfait
zucchini & onions
1/2 can soup
apple
pretzels
English muffin w/ jelly
Panera Turkey sandwich
Panera broccoli cheddar soup
french baguette
ice cream sundae

1500 calories in
2360 calories out (560 at aerobics)
860 calorie deficit (.2457 pounds)

A contest of sorts

2009-05-28T07:31:00.004-04:00

My husband politely reminded me yesterday that it has been a week since my last blog. It is true, I am slipping. Not for a bad reason though, I just don't really have any new news to report - especially since I won't be weighing in until next Monday. Memorial Day weekend was not so good on the food or exercise front, however I didn't do too bad. I know I went over my 1200 calories per day, however I don't think I went that far over. There was virtually no exercising other than a 15 minute wog (walk/jog) on Saturday. I had to stop after 15 minutes because I was having some issues with my right shoulder and it hurt to move it at all. I didn't obsess about my not-so-great weekend though, I just got right back to it this week. I am trying to keep my calories between 1000 and 1200 and I did an hour of aerobics last night and will go again tonight. I really pushed myself last night. They have variations on about everything that lets you work out at a low or high impact. Essentially the difference is how much you are jumping and moving. You can simply do stepping or you can do hopping. I try to push myself and do as much high impact as possible and it showed with my sweating last night! I bet I burned at least 500 calories during the hour and I felt absolutely wonderful when I was finished. I told Jason last night that the first time I went to the class I was embarrassed about how much I was sweating - I think I sweat more than most people, and my face gets really red very quickly when I am hot, I think it has something to do with blood vessels or something - anyway, I was embarrassed but then I told myself that sweating is good, and why pay the money to half-ass it? If I don't push myself to the point that it hurts, then I am not going to lose the weight I want to. Not to mention, the harder you push yourself, the stronger you will become - and not just physically.

I had an idea for a post today because I didn't think I had anything else to blog about today, hence the title of this post. So, without further ado, the "contest." As you know, I have not weighed myself since May 1 and I am scheduled to weigh in on Monday. I have absolutely no idea how the numbers on the scale will look. My question to you is - how many pounds do you think I have shed this month? Leave me a comment with the number you think it will be, and there will be some sort of prize for you. I am not exactly sure what that prize will be yet, but it will be something. And, since I don't know the answer yet either, I am eligible to win as well :) My guess is 7.4 pounds.

2009-05-21T08:09:00.003-04:00

Well, yesterday was my Cedar Point trip with my family and we had a great time. It was nice spending a day with them, even though it was unusually hot and the lines were much longer than what I like. They weren't too bad for CP I guess, we waited on average a half hour for each ride, except Maverick which was over an hour and so not worth it in my opinion. J and I even got on the Millennium Force for a second ride before we left and got the front seats - it was awesome. Not only was the ride just as good (or better) the second time around, but feeling I got from sitting in that seat and buckling myself in was great too. This is the ride that I almost didn't fit on two years ago. The one that states that all riders must be able to secure their own lap belts, and if you can't, then you will be humiliated in front of everyone in line by having to get up out of your seat, and walk in shame to the exit, while it is publicly confirmed to everyone standing there that you are too fat. The ride that while standing in line, all I could think about was how worried I was that I wouldn't fit, I was terrified actually. Well that didn't happen to me this year, nor did it come close. I sat down in my seat, expanded the belt as far as I could (like I always do) and buckled it - no problem. Then, I pulled the belt out away from my lap - and there were INCHES (I am talking 4-5 inches) between the belt and me. This is the same belt that just two years ago was digging into my fat, cutting off my circulation. It was such a good feeling.

MIA

2009-05-19T13:51:00.003-04:00

I just realized I haven't blogged in quite a while. No reason really other than just not having anything new to mention. Cedar Point is tomorrow - YAY! Still doing aerobics and keeping to my plan as best as possible. This weekend wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad either. Other than that, nothing new. Just waiting another 12 days to weigh in!

Only 6 days...

2009-05-14T07:51:00.002-04:00

Until we go to Cedar Point. I am really looking forward to it, not only for the obvious reasons of fun rides and a day off work, but also as a stepping stone and reward for myself. See, two years ago when I went to Cedar Point I came so close to probably the worst embarrassment of my life. We waited in line for the first seats on the Millennium Force, sat down, and I couldn't get my seat belt to fasten. It wouldn't fit around me. They have a policy that you must fasten your seat belt yourself, and if you can't, then you can't ride. I made it as big as possible and struggled, struggled, struggled until it finally clipped, and it was cutting into me, but it was fastened. I would have been mortified had I not gotten it clipped because I would have had to get up in front of all those people in line and leave the ride, all because I was too fat to ride it. I said then that I wouldn't go back to Cedar Point until I had lost some weight, even just a little, so I wouldn't have to worry about that again. So, now we are going back next Tuesday. I am in a sense rewarding myself for losing weight by going, and having a wonderful day with some of my family. It will also be a stepping stone for me; when I see that I can *hopefully* easily fasten the seat belt and *hopefully* even have some slack. It will be like the day I finally fit into my green dress and it looked great on me, or the day that I took the picture with Starr and there was no double chin. Just one of those great victories that keep me going on the path that will lead me where I want to be.

Anyway, went to aerobics last night - had a blast! We had a different instructor and this lady was crazy! She was so much fun and really got us into it. I was sweating like a pig but didn't feel too bad this time because I noticed others were sweating, even the instructor. I didn't get up this morning to do anything because of the good workout last night and because I am going again tonight and I believe the same instructor will be there. Calories were good yesterday - 1212: blueberry muffin, fruit parfait, chicken wrap, English muffin with jelly, Dirusso's turkey sausage, green bean fries and dessert. I also drank 140 oz of water again.

Aerobics

2009-05-12T07:34:00.002-04:00

Well I went to aerobics last night - it was great! I had a lot of fun - much more than being on the treadmill. It was an hour long so I got an hour and 20 minutes of exercise in yesterday. I took this morning off but will do the tm and aerobics both Wednesday and Thursday and then aerobics on Saturday morning, which will give me a total of almost 5 hours this week which should be good. If it is nice on Sunday morning, I might take a nice 3 mile walk with the poochers (she has some weight to lose too!). Food wise I did great yesterday, ate only what I had planned which was: blueberry muffin, oatmeal, fajita, whole wheat english muffin with a little jelly and butter, a protein drink, turkey burger, a few crackers, and mint chocolate chip pie for a total of about 1250 calories. Oh, and I drank 140 oz water.

Great Day! I can't wait for my weigh-in!!!

May 11 - Day 11

2009-05-11T15:30:00.002-04:00

Wow, 11 days into this plan already - it's not that bad really, especially because I am not following it very well :( I do great during the week, really great actually as far as food goes. I haven't been working out at the intensity that I want to, nor as much as I want to. The end of last week started to lag and I only did 15 minutes on Wednesday and 10 on Thursday and nothing on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. We were just busy busy busy this weekend, constantly running around, well except for the two hours on Saturday that I was napping. Food during the week last week was good, again until the weekend came. Friday night we had fajitas at Jeff and Shannin's, which was healthy, but I also had some baked tortillas - not too bad, and I drank four MGD 64 beers. Saturday wasn't too bad either, other than the wine I had, and Sunday was lots of sampling which I am sure added up. Really though, it wasn't like we were eating Taco Bell and Wedgewood or anything and I am sure my calories didn't go above 2000 so it wasn't horrible. I did get on the tm this morning at 5 am and did 20 minutes and really pushed myself. I got 210 calories burned which is a record for me at 20 minutes. I did a lot of jogging and then the 6-7-8 mph thing again. Tonight is our first aerobics class - yay!!!

So anyway, I am still feeling good about the plan and think it will work. I just can't wait to see what the scale says in 21 days!

Warning: This gets personal and, well, gross

2009-05-06T08:17:00.004-04:00

Okay, everything is still going well. I am staying in my calories, sticking to my plan, drinking tons of water and have exercised every day except Sunday. Here is my question - should I check my weight on the 15th of the month just to make sure everything is working properly? That would give me two solid weeks into my plan. I really wanted to wait until the end of the month but I am worried and here is why. I am warning you now, this will get sooooo gross. As you know, I have a problem with, umm, irregularity. It has now been 6 days of nothing. I have been eating between 25-30 grams of fiber each day that comes from fiber one cereal, fruits, vegetables, etc. I have drank a minimum of 100 oz of water per day. I have jogged every day except Sunday and still nothing. When I ate fast food all the time I didn't have this problem, at least not this much time between occurrences. When I asked my doctor about it, she said to lower my fiber (what?) and give it 6 more weeks. Is it just me, or does this seem a little ridiculous? I need to go to the bathroom regularly - period. Do you know how upset and discouraged I will be if I do all this extremely hard work for a month and lose 2-3 pounds??? What is happening with all the food I am putting into my body? You can't tell me that for the last 6 days my body has used it all and I have had no waste. My stomach hurts after almost every meal, I have been taking gas pills basically every day to get rid of the pain, and I constantly feel bloated. At what point do I find someone else to talk to? Who should I see - a nutritionist, a dietitian, a specialty doctor, or should I head back to my old family doctor in Salem? Should I just try an otc laxative? Those scare me because this isn't just a one-time problem, this is something I have had problems with for a while and I don't want my body to require the laxative to do what it is supposed to do naturally.

As you can tell, I am getting a little irritable, probably because of the toxins that are stuck in my body. I am still 100% focused on my plan and I really think it will work, but only if the rest of my body cooperates. So - my question to you is, should I check my weight on the 15th to see how it is going?

Happy Cinco de Mayo

2009-05-05T10:55:00.002-04:00

Had another really good day yesterday. Drank TONS of water, hit the treadmill, ate all of my scheduled food and managed to stay awake until 10! We made these chicken wraps last night that were YUMMY! We found a tortilla called La Tortilla Factory and each one is only 90 calories and it is actually a very large tortilla. Usually the small, soft taco size ones are about 100 calories and I have to eat 3 to be full. These were really soft too, didn't even need to warm them up. I think I might bring one for lunch tomorrow actually. We have some turkey breast so I might try that. Anyway, I got up again this morning at 4:48 am and got on the treadmill. I decided to "take it easy" today and do some 3.5 mph walking at an incline of 10 - okay, so that wasn't taking it so easy. It is really difficult! My heart rate wasn't as high as when I jog, but my legs were a burnin! Five minutes was all I could take for that, then I went back to jogging. I got my 200 calories burned in just under 20 minutes today.

I know there was something else I wanted to comment on today too, but I just can't remember right now. If it comes to me, I will do another post today.

Day 4

2009-05-04T10:02:00.002-04:00

Day 4 and everything is going GREAT!!! I got up at 4:50 this morning and did about 23 minutes on the treadmill and burned 200 calories. I need to remember to get my mileage at the end so I can calculate my average speed. I did the first 3-4-5-6 set and then did 3-5-6, 3-3-6-6, walked a bit, did another 6-6, walked three minutes then did 30 seconds each at 6-7-8 --yes I did 8 mph!!! I finished off with a couple minutes at 3 just to get me to 200 calories burned. I can't believe I had the courage to hit the 8 button. Now, granted, I only did it for 30 seconds, but that was after doing a minute of 6 and 7 mph. Man was I moving at 8 though. I probably looked like I was running from a vicious dog or something. I have drank 3-20 oz bottles of water so far, and am getting ready to get another after this blog. So far, so good.

This weekend was really a success for both J and me. We both do so well during the week, only to "blow" it on the weekend. Not this weekend though. I had my plan and even though I didn't completely stick to it because things come up and plans get changed, we did very well. I stayed within or below my calories every day, I bought 64 calorie beer and drank two of those rather than two glasses of 200 calorie wine, and I got on the treadmill on Saturday and burned 200 calories in 20 minutes even though I was extremely tired and exhausted and all I wanted to do was take a nap. We tried some new food over the weekend as well, some good and some not-so good. We had hot boneless buffalo wings on Saturday that were pretty tasty and some decent pancakes for breakfast yesterday. Lunch was ehhh okay with a turkey reuban quesadilla. We found fat free chocolate milk that is WONDERFUL - it is called Over the Moon. I made really good blueberry muffins that are only 137 calories each to have for breakfast this week along with some oatmeal concoction that is also delicious and only 179 for a bowl of it. I made 210 calorie pot pie for lunch this week. All kinds of stuff. Sunday was spent chopping, cutting, measuring, cooking and baking - my kind of day! Oh - and I drank lots of water this weekend which is a first for me. And we got our new refrigerator! Dad is coming up tomorrow or Wednesday to hook up our water line so we will have filtered water and ice - finally!

One last thing I want to mention was a realization I had this weekend. And I just want to say, before I start this that I am in no way trying to upset anyone or saying that what happened was wrong or rude or anything like that. This is completely a reflection on myself and what I have noticed about myself and how I have changed. On Saturday, we were helping my sister in law move and I was at her old house with her and my mom in law. I don't know how it came up, but I said something about how skinny mom's legs are. My sister in law said something like, "yeah, doesn't it make you sick how skinny she is?" Again, I am not saying there is anything wrong with what she said. It just got me thinking. A year ago I would have said the same thing. A year ago, I would have made comments on how people who have lost weight make me sick that they look so good, or that I was jealous or whatever. I don't feel that way anymore though. I look at mom and see encouragement, not only from the actual encouragement that she gives me all the time, but also encouragement from her journey. She worked very hard to get to where she is, she made sacrifices and changed her life to make this happen for her. I look up to her for that and I am very proud of her for it. (J is another one that falls into this category). Unless someone has had to do it for themselves, they don't know what it's like and until I got serious about my life change, I didn't know what it was like. Sure, I lost 10 pounds here and there but always gained it right back. And then after I gained it back I complained about being fat again and how skinny people make me sick, all the while I was shoving Taco Bell and Wedgewood pizza in my mouth. It is just such a big attitude change for me. Rather than envy those that look good, I look up to them for all their hard work and dedication to achieve something that they want.

May 1 - Day 1

2009-05-01T07:41:00.003-04:00

Well, I did it, I got up at 4:50 am and got on the treadmill. I do not know how people do this! I am hoping it will get easier as the days go on. Getting up that early really wasn't the problem. The problem was getting my body moving that quickly that early. I didn't follow my treadmill plan exactly, because after the 2nd - yes only the 2nd - rep I thought I was going to die. Okay, so maybe not die but definitely throw up. Here's how it went - minute 1 at 3 mph, fine, no biggie, like walking to the car. Minute two at 4 mph - not bad, but I felt like one of those old people at the mall speed walking. Minute 3 at 5 mph - that is better, I think it may be easier to jog slowly than to walk quickly. Minute 4 at 6 mph - gettin out of breath but not too bad. Ahh, minute 5 at 3 mph - much better - then oh God, here comes 4 mph - get through it and on to minute 7 at 5 mph, about half way though I didn't know if I would make it. Then minute 8 at 6 mph - I really had to push on this one and when minute 9 came I hit that 3mph faster than I thought I could. I actually had to get off the treadmill for a minute and just sit. I did get right back on though and walked at 3 mph for about 10 minutes before doing another rep of 4 minutes. I was dripping with sweat like I have never dripped before. It was actually running down my face. I went outside and stretched while the dogs did their thing. The cool air felt so good. Then, I wanted to go back to bed - so I got in the shower. So, that is may day so far. I have gotten 2 bottles of water in which isn't bad because it isn't even 8 am yet. I am really hungry, I am assuming because of the workout, so I think I will eat my banana at 8 rather than 8:30. The rest of my day looks like this:

8(30) - 16 oz water and banana
10 - 16 oz water and yogurt
12 - water and salad
3 - 16 oz water and kiwi
4:30 - 16 oz water
6 - water and dinner - if we go to Chili's I will have the carne asada steak, seasoned veggies and broccoli cheddar soup - YUMMY!

Total calories - 1076

New Plan

2009-04-30T07:52:00.003-04:00

I have come up with a new plan for May. I am going to try it out and see how it works. On paper, it is great and would no doubt end with wonderful results, but let's see how well I can stick to it. As with any plan, it isn't completely fool-proof and I am sure there will be quite a few days I will stray from the plan and you will see why. My goal is to not give up after those days though - to get right back on track, which is the most important thing. So what is this plan? I am glad you asked.

My May plan is a three parter. Part I is exercise. My biggest downfall lately has been exercise. I did so well for all of about two weeks and then I got sick so I skipped a week and then last week there was "something" to do every day after work so I didn't workout then either. This week I am sick again so nothing yet again. This has to stop. I HAVE to make time to workout or I will never look or feel the way I want to. So, as far as working out, my plan is this: get up EVERY morning early enough (4:50 am on work days) to do 32 minutes on the treadmill with stretching after. Why 32 minutes? Well I am going to walk/jog/run at 3,4 5 and 6 mph for one minute each for a total of 8 reps, thus 32 minutes. Hopefully by the end of the month I might even be able to bump that up a bit, or jog/run a little more, but for now, this is where I will start. I am going to get a wall clock with a second hand on it and hang it right in front of the treadmill so I am not staring down at the clock on the treadmill, for some reason, I am more motivated when looking straight forward - I feel stronger. I am sure it is something in my head, but if it works... The second part of my workout plan is to do either weight machine/free weights/crunches in the evening before dinner, or do aerobics. I think I mentioned before that my sis and I are starting aerobics on May 11. I want to do that a minimum of 2-3 days per week with the other days being filled in by weight training. I figure the weight training won't interfere too much with my evenings because it isn't something I need to change for and I can even do it before dinners on Friday's because I don't get all sweaty doing it.

Part II of my May plan has to do with what I am eating. This week I have been totally lazy with my food, not getting my veggies or fruits in and eating WAY too much pasta (we had lots of leftovers from Saturday and it was too good to throw away). I also have not journaled any of my food. As most of us previous weight loss people know, that is very important. There is something about writing down all of you food and actually seeing the calories that help keep us on track. My plan for May is to plan. I will plan EVERYTHING I am eating for the day, a week at a time - rather than just planning dinners like we usually do. Weekdays are pretty easy since I am at work and am limited to what I can have, I just need to make sure the meals are balanced. I am going to write down the times to eat everything as well as when I need to drink water. It will be a time line of sorts and as I complete each one, I will check it off. I am such a list maker and for me, I feel like I have accomplished something by checking things off so maybe this will help me. Weekends will be tough because you never know what will happen. I will make my plan for the day, but I know that it might change. The most important things for me on weekends will be to drink my water and not go hog-wild on calories.

Part III just might be my biggest obstacle. I will not weigh myself for a month. Right now I am weighing myself every day and when I see no change or a change of .2, I get a little upset. When I see +2 or 3 lbs I get depressed and then I don't care, I went up anyway so why not eat what I want, right? WRONG!!! I need to quit obsessing. Maybe if I don't weigh myself for a month and then I see 8 or 10 lbs gone (keeping my fingers crossed) it will feel like much more of an accomplishment rather than seeing .2 lbs. I will weigh myself tomorrow morning, before I get on the treadmill and then I am having J hide it from me so there is no temptation. I will post it on my ticker (spoiler alert - it will be higher than where it is now!) and then I won't update again until June 1st.

So there's my plan for the month. Let's see how it goes.

Not in a blogging mood

2009-04-23T08:41:00.002-04:00

I haven't felt much like blogging lately and I am not sure why. It's not because I have been eating bad things and I am trying to hide it. I have been doing very well this week actually. It's not that I have been gaining or not losing either - the number on the scale has been coming down each day rather well. Of course, it's not as fast as I would like - since my preference would be to drop the final 40 pounds by tomorrow, but it is coming off steadily and at a nice, safe rate. Well that's about it for the day.

How much have I lost

2009-04-21T08:13:00.005-04:00

Well, so far I have lost 8 lbs, which is equivalent to this bakers dough scale - how ironic? I don't have too much to blog about today. I am pretty upset because last Friday I weighed in at 189.8, which I knew I would go up a bit because I was a little sick Thursday night, but it shot right up to 193 within 2 days. Even before I hit the 189.8 mark I was down to 190.8. It just sucks to have to re-lose the weight I already lost. I guess that's what happens when you drink 4 mojitos, some wine and eat 4 smores all in one night. Weekends are so difficult for me. I have no idea why though, it really shouldn't be any different but it is. I am really going to have to be careful on Saturday, it is my nieces 1st birthday and I am going to have to avoid the cake and ice cream because we are having the parent's over for penne ala vodka and bread with oil, and of course wine. I am just going to have to be very, very careful as to my portions of everything and limit myself to a couple glasses of wine - not a bottle. Also, the exercise has been slacking. I skipped Thursday because J and I went out to dinner for our anniversary. Friday was skipped because I went grocery shopping after work then we had dinner. Saturday was skipped because I got up early to go down to mom's house and when I got home, I got ready and J and I did some running around. I did get up on Sunday and did a little bit on the treadmill and weight machine. I skipped yesterday because we had to take Haylie to the groomers as soon as I got home, then we had to run to Target, then we ate, then we picked up Haylie and got home at 9 in time for 24. I think I am just going to have to get my rear end up at 5 am to make sure I get the workout in for sure. So, for not having much to blog about, this one went a little long...

Special Day

2009-04-16T07:53:00.003-04:00

Today I am not going to blog about weight or weight-loss or food or anything related to any of those things - okay, so I guess I will be in a small way. Today I am going to blog about a very special day. Four years ago today I met my husband. We began talking online on February 28, but actually met, face to face on April 16, 2005. Anyway, I am not going to go into our past 4 years I just wanted to let him and everyone else know how much I love him and that I love him more and more every day. We both joke about how it feels like so much more than 4 years, which is true, but in a good way. I feel like we have always been together - like my life started with him or something - and I also can't imagine him not being here. Okay, enough sappy stuff. So I get up this morning and there is a rose with a card on my sink. I have to share the card with you because I was literally laughing out loud when I read it. Take note to his writing (in green). How sick are we? (The inside says, "all yours").

30 lbs gone!

2009-04-15T13:07:00.004-04:00

Well, today I have officially lost 30 pounds. It is a great feeling really. I don't think I have been down to this weight in the past 7 years or so. I know I seem like I am obsessing about this and reporting every little ounce that I loose, but that is my way to keep on track. I need to see that what I am doing is really working and that even though it is going slow, it is going, which is all that matters.

I wanted to mention a contest that a one of my fav bloggers is having. Here is a link to her post. She is giving away $15 worth of granola mix from mixmygranola.com. I checked out the site and it is really neat, even though my dream granola turned out to be more of a party mix than granola. Even if you aren't interested in the contest (which is better for me:) you should still check out her site. She has really been an inspiration for me.

I have actually lost

2009-04-14T07:44:00.002-04:00

This deluxe homemade wine making kit. I had to laugh when I found this one! Anyway, yesterday I have posted that I have lost a total of 7 pounds, which is true, but that is only since I began this blog. At my heaviest, right after the honeymoon, I weighed in at 222.2. Since then (last September) I have lost a total of 29 pounds. I think I needed to realize that, not just the 7 pounds in the last couple weeks since I have made the complete lifestyle change. I will continue to report weekly on the weight lost since this blog, and occasionally I will report a total weight lost, but that is updated daily in my ticker on the right anyway.

So, no more loss from yesterday, but that is fine with me. I am so excited to see NO gain at all from Easter. That actually amazes me. This week will be rough because it is "that week" and not only do I need chocolate, but I usually gain from the bloating. I will do my best though and I am not going to use that as an excuse to not workout. I plan on doing something everyday, even if it is only 10 minutes on the treadmill to get my heart rate up a bit. Something is better than nothing!

So far, I have lost...

2009-04-13T15:42:00.002-04:00

A 7 pound bag of kitty litter! That's right, after a two week halt at 195.6, I finally made it into the 194's and beyond to 193.2. I lost 2.4 lbs this week. I know to some of you that doesn't sound like a lot, especially when I have lost a mere 7 pounds in 5 weeks. but it is definitely an accomplishment. Yay for me!

I had another breakthrough this weekend. I bought a dress about this time last year for my honeymoon. It is a 14. It didn't fit when I got it but I told myself that it would by the honeymoon. Well, needless to say, it most definitely did not fit. I tried it on a couple months ago and while we were able to zip it, it looked terrible because it was so tight. I tried it on again this weekend and it fit perfectly, and it even looked good! I think that is what I will wear to my cousin's wedding in June - provided it still fits then (maybe it will be too big ;p) I started tanning last week which is nice because that always makes me feel thinner and better. So now my nights will be very busy because I will have to fit in tanning before I get home to work out then fixing and eating dinner.

Until next time...

It's going to work this time

2009-04-11T08:16:00.004-04:00

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday because I was up at 6 am with J (I know, how pathetic that I don't even sleep in on my day off). I did some things around the house, left around 9 to do a lot of errands and shopping, got home around 2, put the groceries away and took a little nap until 4 when J got home. The sinus meds that I am taking are wiping me out. I was a little upset yesterday when I got on the scale - it was up .8 lbs to 195. However, it made sense because for lunch I had a grilled chicken sandwich that had not just one but two pieces of cheese along with a cup of potato soup - not too bad but more than what I had been eating for lunches. Then when I was at mom's house I stole a mini Reese's cup from Kat's basket (hey - mom took one from Starr's too) and then dad had me try his sugar free cookies, I had a bite of potatoes and a bite of ham, so probably 150 calories there. Then out to Jalisco's with Marcy, had about 1/4 of my chicken from the chicken fajita with 1/2 of the rice and all of the pico, lettuce and sour cream. I had a few chips with guac and a big ole' margarita. Could have been worse, normally I would have eaten 1/2 of the chips with cheese sauce and all three of the tortillas with the fajita. So no surprise really that the scale was up. Now this morning was a bit different. It was down to 194. That is great, even though the past two days only netted a .2 loss, for me it was good to come right back down because previously when I had a gain, it was taking me 4 days or so to get it back off.

Yesterday was a great day for me. We started off by making these absolutely delicious breakfast sandwiches which were made with 1 egg white, 1 piece cheddar cheese, 1 slice cajun turkey, a little of Mr. Molody's hot mustard and these really good multi grain flat bun things we found. I was really surprised at how good these things were. The really good thing about yesterday was that I realized that this time it is going to work, this time I will actually get the weight off and that my healthy eating will stick with me forever. Again, I am not saying by any means that I am never eating chocolate, pizza, fried stuff, etc for the rest of my life. That is definitely not the case. I am saying that for the majority of the time I will be making smarter choices because I want to, not because I have to. This hit me yesterday at lunch. J called me to see if I wanted to join him and some friends for lunch at Bullfrogs. I asked him to see what soups they had and if there was a good soup then I would go and get soup and salad. I really have to watch my lunches because at 1000-1200 calories a day, I don't have much to work with. All they had was wedding, chili, clam chowder and something else I don't really like so I passed. I was deciding where to go, I didn't want an actual sit down restaurant because I was alone so I decided on Chik-fil-a. I looked up their menu before I got there and found that I could get a chicken salad and fruit. When I got there, I ordered - no problems, no thoughts of ordering anything else, not even a discussion with myself about how I could skip the fruit and get a small order of chicken nuggets instead. Nope, I ordered the food without any arguments with myself. I took my food back to my table and ate it.

It was while I was sitting there eating and looking around that I realized what had happened. I realized that it was very easy for me to choose this food and I also realized how truly good everything was. I didn't even miss the nuggets dipped in honey or the waffle fries. And, best of all, I didn't feel sick after finishing. I didn't feel like I needed to go lay down, I actually felt good (other than the sore throat thing).

Anyway, for dinner we had yummy honey chicken with rice and chicken egg rolls that were surprisingly good for only 90 calories each. Today will be a day of good food as well, we have planned: breakfast sandwich, asiago spinach chicken sausages and parmesan crusted tilapia (yes, you read right, I am going to try it) with capellini pomodoro. That is all I have for now. Time to hit the shower and head to the doctors to get a script. Till Monday...

Almost Forgot

2009-04-09T15:42:00.002-04:00

I almost forgot to blog today! I have actually been pretty busy at work today with two payrolls and auditors. It wasn't until the email for mom's comment came through that I even thought about this thing. Anyway, yesterday was yet another good day which consisted of: yogurt, banana, protein water, turkey sandwich, strawberries and whipped cream, veggies, 2.4 oz steak, roasted red potatoes, zucchini and a strawberry/banana short cake. All that food and it was only 1117 calories!!! I ran/jogged for a while and did my crunches but no arm workout because my lil sis came over mid-workout and she is much more important :)

I am going to take a second and toot my own horn, because this is my blog and I can. I was so proud of myself this morning. Every day this week I have set my alarm for 5 am in hopes that I would get up and workout a bit before work. Of course, I never did it - until this morning that is. I knew that I would be heading straight down to Salem tonight after work to meet my bff for some yummy, but not so healthy, Mexican food so there would be no workout after work like I usually do. When my alarm went off at 5 am, I realized I now have a sore throat - thanks to my husband for sharing his with me. Guess what? Even though it was 5 am and I did not want to get out of bed, even though I could hardly swallow, I got up, got dressed and got on the treadmill. I didn't jog as much as I would have liked, but I did it. I think I need more than a 12 hour break between my jogging because my right hip hurt really bad as soon as I increased the speed to start jogging. It was sore (not muscle sore but joint sore) all morning but feels better now. So yeah, I am proud of myself.

Okay, enough self-horn tooting. I am really looking forward to this 3 day weekend. I have a lot of plans for tomorrow already, I just hope I can get them all done. I will try to log on tomorrow to give a quick update, but if I don't, have a great Easter!!!

Happy Hump Day

2009-04-08T07:32:00.003-04:00

Well yesterday was another very good day. I had: protein water, yogurt, watermelon, delicious chicken sausage on a bun, string cheese, chicken with a stuffing topping, zucchini-broccoli-cauliflower and then a mint ice cream sandwich - yummy! My calories came in at 1103 for the day. I got on the treadmill and did the following: 1 min @ 3mph, 1 min @ 5mph, 1 min @ 6mph, 1 min @ 5mph, 2 mins @ 5mph, 2 mins @ 3 mph for a total of 10 minutes - 5 of which were jogging. I will increase a bit of the jogging tonight. I did 55 crunches and a lot on my arms - all of which I will increase again tonight. I can't describe how great it feels to eat right. J and I were talking last night about it and I love that I feel sick after eating crap - like at the IX Center. That tells me that my body really does want and crave the good stuff, the fruits, veggies and lean meats. When I fill it with grease and sugar it gets mad and definitely lets me know. By no means am I saying that I will never eat greasy or sugary stuff again, I fully intend on having Wedgewood when I hit the 190 mark and I know already I will be sick after I eat it, but Wedgewood is ohhhh so worth it! Other than those occasional times, I fully intend to eat healthy because I love how it makes me feel, I love that after I eat I don't feel sick and I don't just want to sit on the couch, I actually get up and do stuff after eating. I just don't know why I never realized this before. It's not for a lack of education or knowledge - I have read all of this for years and it is pretty much common sense - it just never really sunk in I guess. It has now.

On another note - I am going back to school. Yes, you read that right, I am going back to school for what, the 4th time now? I put my application in the mail this morning so now there is no backing out. I debated for a while if I really wanted to do this or not, it is going to be so much work and not as easy as getting my bachelor's. I figured if I am going to do it, I better do it now. I am fortunate enough to work for a company that gives 100% tuition reimbursement so I will be getting my Master's degree for free - that's a $30,000 value folks. I would be stupid not to do it. It is a two year track, but I am going to do my darnedest to get it done in a year. Am I a gluten for punishment or what? Poor J, just when he thought it was all over...

Happy Tuesday

2009-04-07T08:03:00.003-04:00

This is just a quick update for my Monday. I had a great day yesterday all around. I had: yogurt, fiber bar, cantaloupe, watermelon, 1 slice cheese wrapped in 2 slices deli chicken breast with Jeff's hot mustard, an orange, a cheese stick, a wonderfully delicious mozzarella and roasted garlic chicken sausage (from Sam's club - I HIGHLY recommend), roasted zucchini, broccoli and cauliflower, and then a banana "shortcake" to finish the day off. My calories came in at 1040 which was perfect after a day of eating like I did at the IX Center! I got on the treadmill, even though it was only for 10 minutes. I really pushed myself though and walked a total of only 4 minutes at 3 mph, the rest was jogging at 5-6 mph. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I am NOT a jogger, and I never have been. I am going to change that though, by adding 15-30 seconds to each jog every day. Before you know it, I should be able to jog a mile! I just don't know how these people can run 5 miles at a time with no problem. I don't think I will ever be able to do that - but who knows!!! I also did 45 crunches which I thought was going to kill me - well maybe not, but I did think my stomach was going to cramp up so much I couldn't move. You can tell I don't use my stomach muscles for much. I will be increasing my crunches by 4 every day. I did some work on my arms too, which I will be slowly increasing every day. I don't expect to be able to run 10 miles, do 300 crunches and lift 100 pounds any time soon, but I think if I do these small increases every day, it won't seem so bad to me, and maybe I won't get discouraged. On a positive note, the scale is down to 195.0 today, so let's see if I can keep it going in that direction all week.

How much have I lost

2009-04-06T09:37:00.002-04:00

Well, no change to report this week, which all in all is actually very good. I was bad, bad, bad last week and it will change this week. Over the course of last week I consumed 2 boxes - yes boxes - of girl scout cookies (they are all gone now so I don't have to worry about binging on them again), 5 or 6 drinks on Friday, an egg roll and order of General Tso's along with an apple dessert thing from Shanghai, lots of little treats from Sam's Club's spring open house, a Stromboli (or about half of one) almost 1/2 an order of fair fries, and 1/2 of a funnel cake. Yeah, it was bad. So, I am thankful that I didn't actually net out a gain for the week. J and I agreed that this has to stop, or we will end up right back to where we were before. Since Easter is on Sunday, and we will be going out, I will count that as a "free day." However, I will skip breakfast, or have only a yogurt if I am really hungry, and if I am hungry for dinner, I will have something very small, like a fat free hot dog or something - maybe even some veggies. Other than that, this will be a very healthy week. For today my plans are: yogurt, fiber bar, watermelon, cantaloupe, 2 slices chicken breast with 1 slice cheddar cheese, orange, chicken sausage with bun, veggies, and a low cal dessert for a total of 970 calories. I know that is low, but after what I had yesterday, I should keep it a bit low today. I might throw in a string cheese after work before I get on the treadmill which will put me up over the 1000 calorie mark. I am also getting on the treadmill every day this week, and maybe some extended exercise on Friday since I have the day off. I know, I know, I say this every week, but it will happen this week and I am going to report in every day with my food and exercise for the day before. I need to make myself accountable. I really would like to be in the 180's by my doctor's appointment on the 20th- she lectures me every year on my weight and I would like to go in there with a significant loss this year. It is do-able - only have to lose 3 this week and 3 next - I just have to stay focused.

How much have I lost?

2009-03-31T07:39:00.002-04:00

I decided not to put another picture up because I didn't actually lose any weight last week. I did go down to 194.4 but then came right back up after eating pizza and wings on Friday. I learned my lesson on that one, no pizza until I hit the 190 mark. I just can't eat like that I guess.

Saturday Haylie and I went for a very nice walk early in the morning. We did three miles in the park and it was great. I love being able to get up and go do that, it's a great way to start the day. I wish I could do it during the week too, but I would have to get up at 4:30 and be out there by 5 and I am just not comfortable being out there alone that early. Since it is going to be nice today we are going to walk that path again. I think I am going to bring my tennis shoes to work again and start walking at lunch on nice days.

Well, that is all for now, hopefully I can report some progress later this week.

Support

2009-03-24T14:19:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a pretty good day food wise. I had my usual banana and yogurt for breakfast, watermelon for a snack, a salad and apple for lunch and yummy chicken stroganoff, cauliflower and broccoli for dinner along with an ice cream sandwich for dessert. My calories came to 1215 so not too bad. Roasted broccoli tastes a lot like kale and it was yummy, I am going to get more of that for next week because J liked it too. I didn't get on on the treadmill though which I regret. My legs were still kind of sore and I was starving and had a lot to get ready for dinner so I used that as an excuse. I am getting on it tonight though.

I just want to say a little bit about support. I am so lucky to have all of the support that I do. First and foremost, from my husband. I can't say enough about how wonderful and supportive he is to me. I have read blogs and have heard stories from friends trying to lose weight about how their husbands bring home sweets and other hard-to-resist temptations. Not my J, he would never do that. He actually feels bad because he can eat more calories than I can, so much so that he makes sure to only eat what I do for dinner and he fills the rest in during the day for breakfast and lunch when I am not around. He always offers encouraging words and acts excited for my triumphs. He has even been so patient with my obsession of my missing extra chin. So thank you sweetie, I wouldn't be able to do this without you.

Next I would like to thank my two moms. Mom B has been there for everything in my life, supporting me in everything (good things only of course) that I have done and she is making no exception now. Even though she has always been such a skinny-minny who could eat what she wanted when she wanted, she still listens to me and always gives me positive feedback. She truly believes in me and that is important to me. Mom F has been a great source of support too. She always has great advise on what new foods to try and how to prepare them along with how to sneak in foods and not realize it. She calls me just to check and see how things are going, especially on the weekends when I don't really blog.

My final support comes from my coworkers. They don't even realize that they are being supportive but they are. We have been eating together in the lunchroom on Wednesdays and going on on Fridays and each time they ask me about recipes and my new foods. It really makes me feel good that they are interested in my cooking and want to try things that I suggest. Today, for example, we all got an email reminding us about lunch tomorrow. In that initial email it said, "Jenn, I can't to hear about new recipes." I emailed back and said something about getting to work on new ones and maybe I would give out a new one each week. I also said that I would bring in some kale because everyone wants to try it but they are chickening out from buying it. I got so many emails back from different people that were excited to try the kale and how they love new recipes. It is just a good feeling. The other thing they are doing that makes me feel good is saying things to me unprompted like, "you are going to need new pants soon if you keep losing weight like that" or "look at you skinny-minny" or "what happened to your butt" or even a simple "you look good, how much weight have you lost now?" It is those simple little things that make you feel good and make you want to keep going.

I just wanted to let you all know how thankful I am for your support. It really means a lot and I couldn't do it without you!

How much have I lost?

2009-03-23T08:06:00.000-04:00

I have decided to use my total weight lost each week rather than a weekly amount of weight lost, that way it continues to get larger (hopefully) each week. So, I have lost thus far - 4.6 pounds, or a 12.1" Apple PowerBook laptop. Not too shabby I have to say. My weigh-in yesterday was 195.6 - I finally officially broke the 198 threshold. This weekend was absolutely wonderful for me. First, I had a coupon for a free $5 instant lotto ticket when I bought this $10 ticket, well I had a $5 winner in my purse so I only had to contribute $5 to the deal - not too bad. When I got home I scratched them off and won $20 on the $10 card and $100 on the $5 card!!! I was so excited. I lost a lot of weight this weekend, we got some yard work done, and it was pretty relaxing for the most part. And the best part of it all was my discovery of only having one chin!

On Saturday I was at my mom's house visiting and my niece Starr was there. She loves taking pictures of herself with people and J happened to have his camera there. She asked to take pictures with me, so we did. I noticed the pictures came out rather well, other than the fact that I had no make-up on. There was no double chin - at all! I thought maybe it was a fluke and that the angle was just right so I didn't say anything. When I was getting ready for dinner later that night I noticed in the mirror when I smiled I didn't see the double chin either so before we went to dinner I made J take a picture with me on my phone. On the left you will see that there is no double chin on me, I was so excited. This has become my new favorite picture. I have noticed that my pants are baggy on me and that I can wear pants that I couldn't before, but this was the first time I have actually seen the difference. It is wonderful! So onward and downward I go. I am really looking forward to the 190 mark, hopefully by the middle of April!

On my way

2009-03-20T14:16:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally got past that 198 point, this morning I weighed in at 197.2, down a full pound from yesterday. I got excited but can't get too excited because who knows where I will be tomorrow. It did feel good though, I must say.

I love the internet and its many recipes that are low cal and delish. I have gotten so many wonderful new recipes to try, and for the most part they have been great. It really makes eating light so much better when you actually enjoy the food. I don't have to resort to grilled chicken salads every night. It's funny because the girls at work ask me all the time what new recipes I have been making. I am going to make some kale for them Monday morning and bring it in, they all want to try it.

On an exercise note, I have learned to always wear shoes on the treadmill. Last night I got on and went in socks only, BIG mistake. I did a walk/jog combo for 15 minutes and had to quit because of the blister that I developed on the bottom of my left foot. It hurts so bad to walk. I hope it is better by tomorrow because I would love to get back on. It felt so good to jog yesterday. I didn't even realize I could do it. I did quite a bit of arm strength exercises too but my arms aren't sore today so I guess I didn't do enough. I will have to up it a bit.

My goal is to have a good weekend. I have everything planned out but weekends seem to be a tough point for me, especially on the water intake. I am going to try to stay on track as best I can and hopefully I will report a decent loss for the week on Monday.

Have a great weekend!

Urrrgggghhhh

2009-03-19T13:31:00.001-04:00

I didn't blog yesterday mainly because I didn't feel like it. I know I should have because my main reason for not doing it was the gain. I didn't want to have to post yet another gain of weight on here. When I weighed myself yesterday I was at 199.0, up from 198.6 the day before. Now today I am 198.2. I can't even get excited for the losses (.8 lbs from yesterday) because I am just going to go right back to 199ish. I am so sick of this teetering back and forth. It is absolutely ridiculous that I am not breaking that 198 threshold. I should be losing weight, there is no reason for not doing it. I suppose this week I can blame it on Aunt Flo (no, not my mom's sister Flo). I really don't want to blame it on anything though - I just want to lose weight and I am doing the right things to make that happen. I kind of had a food meltdown yesterday and went over calories, but did so reasonably. I had a fiber bar and banana for breakfast, about 1/2 c chili, some baked flat bread chips and homemade guac for lunch, then I broke. As I was walking back to my desk after filling up my water bottle I saw them - those damn girl scout cookies. I saw there was an almost empty box so I ate 5 cookies - they were soooooooooo good, but there went 350 calories. Since I felt like crap and did not feel like cooking we got panera (broc cheddar soup/turkey sandwich/baguette) and I had an ice cream sandwich. Total calories for the day was 1775. Not the end of the world, actually, that is a pretty decent "maintaining" day for me. I am not too upset with myself even though I know I shouldn't have had those cookies. I needed the chocolate though. So I had a much better day today. I had a banana and yogurt for breakfast, chili and an apple for lunch and will have taco salad w/flat bread chips and guac for dinner and an ice cream sandwich for dessert. That will bring me in at 1070 which will help make up for yesterday. I am getting on the treadmill tonight for a minimum of 30 minutes and on the weight bench for 15 minutes - no excuses.

You know, as I was walk to the bathroom for, oh, the 57th time today, I thought of something. I don't understand how I can obtain an associates degree (with honors) and a bachelors degree (summa cum laude even) while holding down a full time job (and not an easy one) have a part time job for some of that time, buy a house and plan a wedding all within 3 years and all at the same time but yet I can't lose weight. I know, I know, I need to give it more time, but two weeks should be enough time for my system to say "hey, she's eating healthy and low calories and exercising, I guess we should respond by dropping some of this fat." Even though I posted a 1.6 lb loss for last week, it really wasn't a truthful 1.6 lb loss. I did really weigh 200.2 the week before, but earlier that week I had been down to the low 199's. So, while Monday to Monday was a 1.6 lb loss, there was a 1.2 lb gain right before that. So basically in two weeks I have lost maybe a pound, but even that doesn't stay. At what point do I just say screw it and tell myself I am meant to be fat and just live with it?

Ok, I am done with the whining (mmm, wine) and self pity for today. On a positive note, I have been keeping to my resolutions for the past two days, though I was so close to pulling into Taco Bell yesterday. I really wanted a cheesy double beef burrito, but I didn't, I drove by and had my Panera instead. I think this convertible might be a bad thing. Every restaurant I drove by smelled so good. When I was going to get the Panera I had to drive by Golden Corral and oh, that steak smelled wonderful! Okay, enough food talk, I am making myself hungry and I have a while to go before I eat again. Until next time...

Fat Suit

2009-03-17T08:53:00.000-04:00

You know, I can't believe I can get around as well as I do. I can't believe that my body hasn't completely given out on my yet, my knees buckling when I walk and ankles swollen over my shoes. I am carrying an extra 50 (and at one point 70) pounds at the very minimum on my poor legs. I can't imagine how someone like my sister would feel if she had to put on a "fat suit" that weighed 65 to 85 pounds. Let's say she has to wear this fat suit 24 hours a day, up and down steps, sitting and standing, etc. I wonder how she would do? My guess is she would be absolutely exhausted at the end of the day, her legs would ache and she probably wouldn't want to get out of bed the next morning because she knew she would have to go through it all again. It makes me wonder how my body really feels. I am used to the weight and I have gained it gradually so I am sure it definitely isn't as bad as it would be for her to just put 65 pounds on one day but how is my body going to feel when I am (notice I said when) 20, 30 even 50 pounds lighter? I can't wait to feel the difference.

I completely forgot to do my resolutions yesterday. I am going to keep my resolutions similar to last week's and only change a couple things:

1. At least 5 bottles of water a day
2. no alcohol
3. no fast food
4. no frozen meals
5. fresh fruit daily

Yesterday was a good day - I had:

breakfast: smoothie with fiber one yogurt, banana, 1/4 c skim milk and ice, fiber now bar
lunch: 3/4 c broccoli cheddar soup, apple
snack: light string cheese
dinner: Dirusso's turkey sausage, kale, zucchini, green beans
dessert: strawberry shortcake

Total calories: 1255

Weight today: 198.6

How much did I lose this week?

2009-03-16T11:20:00.000-04:00

I am sure you are wondering why there is a photo of a camera starting my blog today. Well, in addition to my weekly resolutions and (almost) daily posts, I am going to post a "How much did I lose this week?" blog. It will be quick recap of how much weight I lost total, as well as a comparison to product weighing the same amount. One of the blogs I follow does this and I think it is a neat way of thinking about your weight lost (or gained).

So, this week, after a lot of fluctuation, I lost a total of 1.6 pounds, or a Nikon D40 6.1MP Digital SLR Camera. To bad I don't win that for losing the weight!!!

This week ended up being rather rough for me. The eating part was easy because of all the great new recipes I found. I enjoyed making everything and J and I both really enjoyed the food. The tough part was that even though I had a net loss of 1.6 for the week, I did go up and down constantly and I was up again this morning, up to 199.6 from 198.6 yesterday. I just feel like I am not making any kind of dent at all. As soon as I drop 2 pounds, I go back up 1.5, I drop .2 and then up .8. It is very aggravating. I know I have to keep trying and eventually something will work. As I said last week, if I don't have an actual loss this week, I am going to see an nutritionist. This week I am going to eat even better. I bought strawberries, bananas, apples and grapes to eat this week as well as kale, green beans, zucchini, romaine and an avocado. I am not eating any frozen meals at all. I made chili and low cal broccoli cheddar soup yesterday that I will be enjoying for lunches and will be incorporating the fruit. Thanks to my mom-in-law for her wonderful idea on kale. Never in a million years would I have picked up a bunch of kale and thought, "hmm, this might be tasty." It looks disgusting but when baked properly it is absolutely delish! I have actually been craving it!

I did go through my closet as promised and will be retiring 3 pairs of my baggy pants. I am wearing my size 14's today actually. We got our weight bench and after some time on the treadmill tonight I am going to do a little work on my wings. Well that is my weekend recap. See you tomorrow!

Changes

2009-03-13T13:04:00.000-04:00

Thursday was good for me as far as resolutions go, I met all of them and it paid off. I weighed in at 198.4 this morning. I am not going to get too excited though because of my recent 2 lb gain. My calories were very low yesterday, at just over 1000 for the day. I ended up almost stuffing myself last night with sugar free pudding just to hit the 1000 mark. I don't like being that low, but some times it is hard. With all that was going on yesterday I wasn't all that hungry at lunch so I only ate my potatoes and green beans from my cafe steamer. I didn't like the carrots and the meat that was in it and I didn't have anything else to eat so that is what I had. I kind of have the same problem today. I brought in some vegetable soup, expecting it to taste like my grandma's and it turned out very bland and the vegetables were mushy. I took a bite of corn and it disintegrated in my mouth, yuck! So I have only consumed 300 calories so far today, which I guess is actually a good thing considering we are going to Bella Napoli for dinner tonight. I have decided to splurge a little and have 2 pieces of bread along with 1/2 of a cheese stromboli. That should be about 900 calories which will bring me right where I need to be for the day.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I realized that I forgot to do laundry last night. I had worn my good jeans to walk dogs in on Wednesday and was going to wash them for today. I semi-panicked because my favorite jeans were dirty. They are the only jeans I ever wear, other than a really old pair that are beginning to rip and have worn-in stains on them (I would never wear them to work). These favorite jeans are too big for me. They hang on me, just like all of my work pants, and I have to constantly pull them up. I have a closet full of size 14's from when I was thinner a few years ago but I still continue to pick up these 16's and put them on every day. Why? I put the size 14 jeans on and they fit me absolutely perfectly, they are not at all snug anywhere and are extremely comfy. For some reason though, I would rather be in my too big 16's. You would think I would be excited to be wearing the smaller pants, and I am, but there is something about the others. Am I afraid of the change? Why do I always pick the old ones? Is it so if I gain a little, it won't be as noticeable? So I have decided to go through my closet this weekend. I am going to try on all of my pants and keep the 14's out. After I make sure I have enough that fit, I am boxing up the remaining 16's and putting them away so I can't go back to them so easily. I will be forced to keep the weight coming off or my pants won't fit. Can I trick myself?

Bad Day

2009-03-12T15:23:00.000-04:00

I am having a terrible day today. I woke up late to start things off. I hate doing that because then I have to rush and I don't want to be rushed. I got on the scale and what do I see - 200.0 - what the hell???? How could I have POSSIBLY gained all of the weight back that I just lost? I have done so well, 1200-1300 calories per day, exercised every day, drank 6+ bottles of water - how can I GAIN weight?!?!?!?!? While I was getting my breakfast/lunch together I found that we had no fiber bars left and nothing to really replace it - no fruit or anything - and since I got up late there was no time to stop anywhere. So I got a piece of flat bread for breakfast - yum. As I was reaching for my shoes, I hit my thumb on the bench and broke my nail almost half way down - SOB that hurts! I get to work and put a smile on my face and tell myself that I am going to turn this day around and make it a good one, only to find out a half an hour later that they are doing massive terminations here at work and one of my employee's was on the chopping block. Great freakin day.

Anyway, I stuck to my resolutions yesterday and for exercise I went to the pound for an hour and a half and walked dogs. It was really nice. These poor pups only get to leave their cages once or twice a day at the most and they have the biggest hearts I have ever seen. This one little guy was so incredibly scared. He cowered in the back of his cage and I had to literally drag him out. Once out, he wouldn't walk on the leash at all, he just cowered on the ground with his tail tucked under. I carried him outside and set him on the grass. After I pet him for a while he curled up next to me so I could protect him. When I finally put him back in his cage he just looked at me with his beautiful eyes. I felt so bad having to put him back in, I really hope someone adopts him, he would make a wonderful pet.

Anyway, back to the weight loss, or lack there of. I am going to keep at it. I have discovered some things that I am going to try next week to see if maybe I can turn this around. I am going to cut out the frozen meals at lunch and go for fresh stuff and I am going to incorporate some fruits in my day because I don't think I am getting enough - well I am not getting any at all. If nothing is lost by the end of next week I think I will have to see a nutritionist. There must be something I am doing wrong.

New Recipes

2009-03-11T12:35:00.000-04:00

Well day two was half of a success. I did keep to all of my weekly resolutions - almost 7 bottles of water again, no alcy-hol, all three sources of fiber (I think it might be working!) and no fast food. The non-successful half was that I weighed myself this morning and the scale was 198.8!!! Up .2 from yesterday. I am not going to get upset yet, I did drop almost 2 lbs in one day so I am sure this is just a slight fluctuation. Yes, that is it. I did great with my calories yesterday, coming in at 1230 and doing 30 minutes on the treadmill. I am keeping my fingers crossed that tomorrow's number will be slightly lower than today.

I have been working all morning on getting new recipes for J and I to try. Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE cooking and trying new recipes is what keeps it fun. I am working to get some veggies mixed in there and I even accomplished something I didn't think I would - J ate zucchini twice and he actually liked it! I found a TON of recipes that look so good on wineloverscookingdiary. As I am getting calorie information, I am finding many of these will be too high for us, but there are quite a few we can do and they sound delish. This also has me thinking of new things I can do and ways to re-vamp our old dishes to keep things interesting. We should have new food to try everyday for about a month! I am printing them on index cards so they are all uniform and easy to get to. I have so many healthy cooking cookbooks, but then you have to look through them all each week. If I can get them all cataloged on index cards, I think this will help. I know, it is such an old-fashioned way to do it but I did an access database file that is great, however I have to break out the computer every time I want to get recipes. Hopefully this will work out for me and keep us from having the same things week after week.

Another thing I am going to try next week is kale. My mom-in-law told me that she roasted hers and it was really good so I will be buying some of that during my shopping trip this weekend.

Day 1: Success

2009-03-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

My first day of resolutions is over and here is how I did:

1. 5 bottles of water - I actually had almost 7 yesterday total, I think I spent half of my day walking to the restroom (does that count as exercise?) - check

2. no alcohol - didn't have any yesterday, but that is not unusual for a Monday, I usually don't drink until the weekend. - check

3. 3 sources of fiber - I had my fiber one yogurt and fiber bar yesterday morning and my psyllium husks last night before I went to bed - check

4. no fast food - nope, no fast food yesterday - check

So, I met my goals for yesterday, one day down - six to go! They definitely paid off because this morning I was down to 198.6, which I realize is water weight and not fat, but hey-I'll take it. I got on the much neglected treadmill last night for 20 minutes and then J and I cleaned out the spare room and brought it upstairs, to hopefully motivate both of us to exercise a little more. Mom and Dad are giving us a home gym set that we hope will fit in the room. It will be nice to get some strength training along with cardio.

I had this dream last night, well it was probably this morning actually. J always laughs because I have such vivid and realistic dreams and this one was no different. I was on my way to work this morning and was really craving a sausage mcmuffin with egg for breakfast. As I was driving, "Good Jenn" and "Bad Jenn" (just like in the cartoons where you have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other) were arguing back and forth as I was trying to decide whether or not to stop at Micky D's (this actually does happen in my head in real life-sad, I know). Anyway, Good Jenn says "no, you don't need the sandwich, if you eat it you will regret it, you will feel sick after you eat it, you have a perfectly good yogurt and fiber bar, etc" while Bad Jenn argued with the same line over and over, "But it will taste SOOOOO good!" So I decided to do what I do often in this type of situation - I went to McDonalds but decided to try to make the sandwich a little healthier - I got a "chicken mcmuffin with egg." Now obviously there is no such thing but in my dream there was. It was a grilled chicken breast on the english muffin with cheese and egg - it was disgusting. I didn't like it, but you know what? I ate it anyway. After I got to work and the sandwich was long gone, I got on the nutrition website for McDonalds and found that the chicken mcmuffin with egg was only 100 calories and 3 g of fat less than the sausage. After reading that I felt even worse than I did after eating the disgusting sandwich because I could have had what I really wanted and it would have not been too much worse, or better yet I could have eaten what I brought to work and felt great and saved 300 calories.

What does this dream mean? I am not sure. It just made me laugh because it was so real and my thoughts and actions were so what I would do in real life. I do need to figure out how to get rid of Bad Jenn. She is really bringing me down.

Anyway - 2 bottles of water and a fiber yogurt down for the day, and it's only 8:30. I am going to have a great day!

My first resolution

2009-03-09T11:04:00.000-04:00

After thinking about the past weekend and last week, I have come up with MANY things I did wrong. I drank entirely too much wine, didn't drink enough water, didn't always consume enough fiber, and I ate *gasp* fast food! I am sure there were others such as not enough veggies, too many carbs, etc, but those were the biggies. So, here is what I am doing this week:

1. Definitely 5 bottles of water - minimum. Saturday I may let this slide to 3 bottles as we are going to Geneva and I don't want to make the driver stop 15 times on the way there so I can go.

2. NO WINE or other alcoholic beverages except for Saturday. We are going to an ice wine festival so I will definitely excuse myself from the anti-wine ban for the afternoon.

3. I will eat my fiber one yogurt, fiber now bar and consume at least 1 glass/dose of psyllium husks (yuck) each day, including Saturday. If things don't change - I promise to see the doctor. I do need to give the fiber an honest shot at working though, not just a half-assed one.

4. And finally, absolutely-positively no fast food this week. I may have Subway or something similar, but no McDonalds, no Taco Bell, and no Arby's. Period.

Those are my resolutions for the week. Shouldn't be too hard to commit to them. I am so hungry right now though and I already ate my yogurt and bar for the day. I only have 45 minutes until lunch and I know I can make it, but those damn girl scout cookies are whispering behind me, kind of like the whispering on Lost. I really need to get those out of my office - but I don't want them at home either. Damn those little girl scout girls and their cute and irresistible smiles.

Today's weigh-in: 200.2 lbs
Calories so far: 210 plus I will have 310 (cafe steamer by Healthy Choice) for lunch making a total of 520. 680 left for dinner - perfect.

Here I am

2009-03-09T10:12:00.000-04:00

I decided this morning that I need to blog. I need to write down my feelings and struggles through this journey of weight loss. I have been following Lyn's journey at http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/ for some time now. I spent hours getting caught up on her past two years and the struggles she has overcome and the struggles she is still dealing with. By reading her blog everyday, I realized that I am much like her (minus the children) and it seems like writing down your feelings might help. Let's see...

I am tired of being fat - I am over it completely. I want to feel better, I want to not breathe heavy after a flight of stairs, I want to fit comfortably in the seat of the Millennium Force and Top Thrill Dragster. There are so many things that I want, and I can have, just by losing weight. On the top of my list though, I want to be healthy. My grandma has diabetes and I don't want to have it too. I want to be able to live a very healthy and long life with my husband. I want us to be active when we grow old, not sitting in front of the TV all day, waiting to die.

My number one goal for this blog is honesty. I have been lying to myself and my husband for a while now. Well, I don't actually completely lie to him, but I am not completely honest with him either. For example, I didn't mention to him that two days last week I had both Arby's and Taco Bell for lunch. I didn't actually lie to him, I just didn't bring it up either. Why? I don't know. I know that he would just give me positive encouragement like he always does. He is wonderful like that and he doesn't ever give up on me. I know that by eating like that I am only hurting myself and I don't know why I do it. Through this blog I will be completely honest, even on bad days. That is one thing for which I really respect Lyn. Even when she has went totally off course and has to report gains, she is honest. I must stop lying to myself.

What I am going to do - honestly. I will be doing weekly resolutions. A lot of people do New Year's resolutions but why do they have to start at the new year? How many people can actually keep one resolution (especially weight loss) going for an entire year? What happens is in February you fall off the wagon. Oh well, there's always next year. By doing weekly resolutions I hope to keep them going longer. If I happen to fall off on Saturday, I will be starting again on Monday. I think it will help me because the reward of success will come much more quickly making me feel better about myself. I am also going to report daily on my food, exercise and weight. I am not going to necessarily list the food everyday, I may for a while just to help myself, but I will at least report my honest to God's calories - NO LYING!!!!

Anyway, I think that is all for now. Hopefully as time goes on, not only will I lose weight, but hopefully I will also become a better writer. Two birds, one stone. Let's hope.